You took the weekend off. Slept in. Did less than usual. And Monday morning you felt better. For about two hours.
By midday you were right back where you started. Bone-tired. Brain fog rolling in. That familiar sense of running on empty.
If this sounds like you, you’re not alone. But I do need to tell you something: this is the early warning signal for burnout that most women miss.
I know because I missed it myself.
For months, I’d been feeling increasingly tired. Irritable. Scattered. Indecisive.
Suddenly things that used to come easily were somehow harder. Complex surgical procedures I’d done hundreds of times were taking me longer to think through. Answering GP referral letters was taking longer. When checking the month’s order forms for the clinic, I was more likely to miss that something important had been forgotten.
I put it down to perimenopause. And that’s exactly what many women will find their doctors do once they reach their late 40s.
I failed to see these were burn out warning signs. So, I did what capable women do. I pushed through.
I was founder and medical director for two busy medical clinics and working clinically full-time across both. My hours kept growing longer because I was becoming increasingly less mentally nimble (though I didn’t recognise that at the time).
After family dinner commitments were done, I’d go into the study. Emails. Business marketing. Bills. Writing research papers. Evening online teaching commitments for skin cancer doctors. And often, I had to keep working through the weekends just to keep abreast of everything.
I started losing interest in things I’d always loved. There wasn’t time to fit them in anyway. And I certainly couldn’t find time for exercise.
Then one day, out of the blue, I literally could not get out of bed. My body simply refused to get me up.
That’s when the penny dropped. Full blown adrenal fatigue. End-stage burnout.
I was terrified.
Would I ever get my health back? Would all I had worked so hard for collapse? How would I find someone to take over the practices and care for our patients and staff if I couldn’t return? How would I pay the mortgage?
I share this not because your story will look exactly like mine. But because if a doctor with 30+ years of experience can miss the pattern in herself, anyone can.
And the signals I ignored are the same ones most high-achieving women are ignoring.
Most women I work with can still benefit from rest. A weekend off helps. A good night’s sleep makes a difference. A week away absolutely works.
The problem is how quickly the relief disappears.
You come back from holiday feeling restored. Within a week, you’re maxed out again. You have a quiet Saturday and feel better Sunday. By Tuesday afternoon, you’re depleted.
The latest research confirms this pattern. A 2025 meta-analysis of 32 studies found that while vacation does improve wellbeing, these benefits fade more quickly than we’d like.1 The relief is real. But it doesn’t last.
Rest is giving you relief. But it’s not restoring your capacity. And most women don’t know those are two different things.
When rest alone isn’t enough to restore you, it’s often because your body is carrying cumulative wear and tear from chronic stress (what we call allostatic load). Research shows this pattern is especially common among women in high-demand professions.2
Right now, your body can still recover relatively quickly. But the window doesn’t stay open indefinitely.
When you’ve been operating at the pace most high-achieving women maintain (back-to-back commitments, mental load that never stops, everyone relying on you, very little true downtime), your system adapts.
Your body learns that overdrive is normal. Your baseline shifts. What used to feel like pushing it now just feels like your regular pace.
The result?
Your body is working harder to maintain what feels like the same level of performance. And rest, while helpful, isn’t giving you enough recovery time to cope long-term with your ongoing workload.
How This Shows Up:
This is early to mid-stage burnout. You’re not collapsed. You’re coping. But the margin is getting thinner.
And here’s what I’ve seen (both in myself and as a doctor working with high-achieving women): if the pattern creating this doesn’t change, that margin keeps shrinking until there’s none left.
Rest addresses the symptoms (exhaustion, depletion, overwhelm). It doesn’t address the pattern creating them.
The pattern is this: over-responsibility, saying yes before checking your capacity, putting everyone else’s needs ahead of your own,
These aren’t personality traits. They’re learned patterns. And they’re still running underneath the rest.
So, you take time off. Your body recovers somewhat. Then you step back into the same pattern. The same pace. The same level of responsibility. The same inability to say no.
Here’s what the research shows: recovery isn’t just about stopping work. It’s about what happens in the space between.3
Genuine recovery requires psychological detachment (your mind actually stops working), not just physical rest (your body stops working). Most high-achieving women rest their bodies but never give their minds a break. You’re on the sofa, but you’re still planning tomorrow. You’re on holiday, but you’re still mentally carrying the load
And within days, you’re depleted again.
Rest addresses exhaustion. It doesn’t address over-responsibility, saying yes before checking your capacity or carrying the mental load for everyone around you.
Not because rest doesn’t work. Because the pattern that created the depletion is still operating.
These patterns don’t change because you take a day off. They’re your hidden operating system. And until they change, rest will keep falling short.
The longer these patterns run, the deeper they embed. What starts as a learned behaviour becomes your default way of operating. But as I learnt, with concerted effort, it is quite possible to change the way you operate.
Right now, you’re still functioning. Rest helps somewhat. You’re coping.
But without changing these patterns (overgiving, over-responsibility, pushing through), the cost of how you are leading and living compounds.
I watched this happen in myself. The tiredness became exhaustion became an inability to get out of bed. The scattered thinking became difficulty completing complex tasks became inability to work. The overwork became loss of interest in things I loved became complete disconnection from myself.
End-stage burnout is not inevitable. But it is the trajectory.
You’re catching this early enough that healing is faster. Your system will respond faster to intervention. You still have margin (even if it’s getting thinner).
This is exactly the right time to interrupt the cycle. Not when you crash. Now.
If you’re thinking “so rest doesn’t work?” No. Rest absolutely works. You need it. Keep taking it.
But if you want rest to actually restore you (not just buy you another week), the pattern underneath needs to shift.
Start Here:
These are small shifts. But you’re catching this early enough those small shifts can create significant change. That window doesn’t stay open indefinitely.
This is what I researched and created for myself and now help high-achieving women do. So, you can thrive in your success rather than just survive it. It’s the work I wish someone had helped me do before I crashed.
If this piece resonated, you are likely asking: So what do I actually do about it?
You have two options, depending on where you are:
1.If you want to understand the work first:
Join me for a free essential conversation where I go deeper into the identity patterns driving exhaustion and what it takes to change them.
Register here for the next session: An Essential Conversation
2. If you are ready to start the journey
Reset & Bloom is a 4-week breakthrough for high-achieving women who want to see the patterns clearly and take the first intentional steps toward changing them.
It is where many women begin. Real transformation takes longer than a month, but this is the essential foundation.
Starts soon: Learn more here
